Whilst I was growing up I never really had an issue with mental health nor did I really have a good understanding about it but that was all about to change...
I was about 18/19 and in a long term relationship in and out of jobs I didn't necessary like (sounds like a typical teenagers life right?) Unfortunately that relationship came to an end and kicked everything off mentally.
Everything stopped, I stopped working, eating and resulted in self harming as a way of blaming myself for everything that was happening around me basically I just fell into a hole, It took me ages to push myself to make that dreaded doctors appointment to basically tell them how shit my life was and I'd given up.
It finally came round and there I was sitting in the doctors room explaining EVERYTHING, He started me on a small dose of pills (which I now relate to as happy pills lol) days passed and I became SO ill, long story short my body wasn't agreeing with the tablets, you can imagine how even more shit I felt now.
I was on then put on a more common tablet called Fluoxetine also known as Prozac, from what I remember I was fine and things were looking up.
Fast forward a good 3/4 years I was still taking them and everything seemed to be fine, life was good I was working, had a new relationship things had finally settled, no details but I went through a lot within that relationship and it ended, In and out of hospital the lot, I was back at the doctors being told to take at least 3 tablets a day because of my low moods which was the highest dose I had yet.
This time round I had learnt NOT to be alone I gained a new girlfriend and got back in contact with old friends, these people were honestly my rock and couldn't thank them enough!
That's it, I was so content AND November 2017 I stopped fully taking my medication!!!
Things naturally happen and I ended up in another relationship (I know right another one...) But January this year that ended, this time my body dealt with this so much differently than the previous times. I got myself therapy sessions and saw him once a week, I won't lie but that was the most draining experience yet the best thing I've done, it was so different telling someone who didn't know you everything that's happened knowing they're not gunna sit there and judge you.
Summer 2018- After nearly a year off my medication I can honestly say I've learnt so much about myself, you can get the best help in the world, surround yourself with the best people possible but at the end of the day it's down to YOU, something I was so against at the start of all this, Don't get me wrong I'll have shit patches where I think fuck it I'll just go back on my medication I cba to do this all by myself but personally I don't want to take tablets for the rest of my life.
I am so much better and when I look back over the years I have changed so much and for the better, even writing this I'm shocked at the change!!
That's the ramble over but I was petrified to write this post as I don't want people thinking blah shes just doing it for attention why does she need to tell everyone this, when really mental health isn't spoken about enough, I know someone who may have this condition could read this and it change everything for them. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!
Listen- Listen to people when they tell you to get help, go to therapy sessions and LISTEN to them.
Talk- Talk to people.
Love- YOURSELF, just because you feel like this DOES NOT make you any different.
I could honestly go on for so long about this as mental health is so close to my heart, I'm 100% looking to do more posts on mental health things I used and methods I did and still do that help me through the shitty times.
PLEASE remember you are NOT alone.
I was about 18/19 and in a long term relationship in and out of jobs I didn't necessary like (sounds like a typical teenagers life right?) Unfortunately that relationship came to an end and kicked everything off mentally.
Everything stopped, I stopped working, eating and resulted in self harming as a way of blaming myself for everything that was happening around me basically I just fell into a hole, It took me ages to push myself to make that dreaded doctors appointment to basically tell them how shit my life was and I'd given up.
It finally came round and there I was sitting in the doctors room explaining EVERYTHING, He started me on a small dose of pills (which I now relate to as happy pills lol) days passed and I became SO ill, long story short my body wasn't agreeing with the tablets, you can imagine how even more shit I felt now.
I was on then put on a more common tablet called Fluoxetine also known as Prozac, from what I remember I was fine and things were looking up.
Fast forward a good 3/4 years I was still taking them and everything seemed to be fine, life was good I was working, had a new relationship things had finally settled, no details but I went through a lot within that relationship and it ended, In and out of hospital the lot, I was back at the doctors being told to take at least 3 tablets a day because of my low moods which was the highest dose I had yet.
This time round I had learnt NOT to be alone I gained a new girlfriend and got back in contact with old friends, these people were honestly my rock and couldn't thank them enough!
That's it, I was so content AND November 2017 I stopped fully taking my medication!!!
Things naturally happen and I ended up in another relationship (I know right another one...) But January this year that ended, this time my body dealt with this so much differently than the previous times. I got myself therapy sessions and saw him once a week, I won't lie but that was the most draining experience yet the best thing I've done, it was so different telling someone who didn't know you everything that's happened knowing they're not gunna sit there and judge you.
Summer 2018- After nearly a year off my medication I can honestly say I've learnt so much about myself, you can get the best help in the world, surround yourself with the best people possible but at the end of the day it's down to YOU, something I was so against at the start of all this, Don't get me wrong I'll have shit patches where I think fuck it I'll just go back on my medication I cba to do this all by myself but personally I don't want to take tablets for the rest of my life.
I am so much better and when I look back over the years I have changed so much and for the better, even writing this I'm shocked at the change!!
That's the ramble over but I was petrified to write this post as I don't want people thinking blah shes just doing it for attention why does she need to tell everyone this, when really mental health isn't spoken about enough, I know someone who may have this condition could read this and it change everything for them. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!
Listen- Listen to people when they tell you to get help, go to therapy sessions and LISTEN to them.
Talk- Talk to people.
Love- YOURSELF, just because you feel like this DOES NOT make you any different.
I could honestly go on for so long about this as mental health is so close to my heart, I'm 100% looking to do more posts on mental health things I used and methods I did and still do that help me through the shitty times.
PLEASE remember you are NOT alone.
